Category Archives: News

Study shows I should have died in 1953

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(Mens Health) Exercise 150 minutes a week, live 3.4 years longer!” You’ve probably seen that headline–from a recent Harvard study–and many others like it all over the web. Hit the gym, eat more vegetables, or quit smoking, and you’ll be around for a few more years. In concept, it’s a good tool for motivation. The problem? It’s hard to conceptualize how something you do today might affect you in 30 or 40 years, David Spiegelhalter, Ph.D., a professor of biostatistics at the University of Cambridge tells MensHealth.com. (And if you’re already going to live to be 91, why bother trying to stretch those twilight years to the age of 94 years, 4 months?) That’s where Spiegelhalter’s quirk of statistics comes in. He thinks about the effect of specific activities on your longevity in terms of “microlives”–30-minute windows. Break the numbers down and you’ll see just how binge drinking cuts years from your life: After the first one, which increases your lifespan by 30 minutes, every alcoholic drink that you down today brings you 15 minutes closer to death. (That means the standard advice of “no more than two drinks a day” still stands, since you’re still 15 minutes ahead after two drinks.)

This is why I hate doctors, if they spent their time doing more important studies, like figuring out why kids are stupid, they might actually make a difference in the world. Dr. Speegaldick over here is out of his god damn mind. If I’m having 1 drink, I’m probably having 35. The first drink that adds 30 minutes to my life is nothing but an afterthought by the time I’ve passed out in old Chinese food and a puddle of my own semen. How bout losing 2 hours “Just for being male”.. There it is. Fuck you. He clearly just made this list to impress a girl. I’m surprised he didn’t put ” extra 40 years for having such lovely eyes” You pretentious fuck. Get a job.

 

 

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Tug of War match leads to fingers, blood, and screaming children everywhere.

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(Post-Game)A simple game of tug-of-war ended horribly for two California high school seniors. During Spirit Week at South El Monte High School outside of Los Angeles, Edith Rodriguez and Pablo Ocegueda were playing tug-of-war when the rope snapped. The rope had wrapped around the hands of Rodriguez and Ocegueda, so when it snapped, several of their fingers were severed. Rodriguez, a soccer player, and Ocegueda, a football player, were immediately brought into Los Angeles County-USC Medical Center for surgery to reattach their fingers. Eddie Pickett, a supervising dispatcher with the Los Angeles County Fire Department, told NBC News that the teens lost four fingers on each hand while Rodriguez also lost the thumb on her right hand. “They were just both in shock, staring at their hands,” Jennifer Jiminez, a freshman at South El Monte, told KCBS. “They didn’t know what to do.” Nick J. Salerno, Superintendent of El Monte Union High School District, said its schools have been playing tug-of-war for years. “I’ve never heard of anything like this happening,” Salerno said. “It’s unbelievable to me, it’s shocking.” Dr. Robert Glatter, an emergency medicine physician at Lenox Hill Hospital in New York, was not involved in the treatment of the South El Monte students but in an email to CBS he wrote that he could see how injuries like these would happen. “Loops, knots and other types of ‘holdings’ — used to wrap the rope around hands or any part of the body is extremely dangerous — and can place individuals at risk for finger and hand injuries,” Glattner wrote. “Including traumatic amputations and joint dislocations.” While extremely rare, there are several documented cases of similar injuries resulting from games of tug-of-war. In 2007 two Colorado high schoolers partially severed their hands during a game of tug-of-war. One year later an 8-year-old Minnesota girl lost four fingers when her hand got tangled in the rope. Tug-of-war was an Olympic sport until 1920, and the sport’s supporters are hopeful that renewed interest could help getting the event restored by 2024. In the meantime, the Tug-Of-War World Championship in 2014 will be held in Madison, Wis.

 

There are 2 things to remember while playing “Tug of war” A) The guy in the back is the anchor, put the strongest kid back there. B) Don’t lose your fingers. Simple

Now I could something like this happening in like Venezuela or Uganda, or wherever Kony is at these days. This is the most unAmerican story in the history of the United States. This is why North Korea is making propaganda videos of assholes sleeping and bombing our city in their dreams, because our children are getting dumb and losing their fingers playing a fun game that should end in like, dislocated shoulders and whole arms severed and broken knees, not lost fingers. Get it together America, you’re embarrassing yourself. Next time just make sure you’re using a good rope that wont snap.

This is the 3rd case of lost fingers in a tug of war related incident since 2007? This is disgusting. Stop having children.

Also, dont forget the Tug of war championships in Wisconsin is a year from now. I guess that’s relevant.